As my WLS seminar with Dr. Snyder and one on one consultation with Dr. Kirshenbaum draw nearer, I am getting more and more nervous. I can't believe that this is actually going to happen! When I think of myself in the future I get so excited because the image I have held in my head was fat and unhealthy. This "futuristic" image is slowly fading away and a new one is coming to light.
The weirdest part of it all is that it has already been a roller coaster of feelings. There are days I am so excited I want to talk about it as much as possible and other days that I get scared of the "unknown" and swear that I am going to die on the OR table. This is what is going on in my head everyday as I think about WLS:
Will it work for me? Will I handle it responsibly and use it for the good? Am I picking the right WLS type? Will I lose the majority of my excess weight? How will it affect me long term (pre-pregnancy, post-pregnancy, and as a grandma)? Will it change who I am personality wise? Will it affect my marriage and if so for the good or the bad? Will I be strong enough to fight "head hunger"? By taking out a loan, how will it affect us long term? Which doctor should I go to to have the actual surgery? Will I finally be able to get off of my blood pressure and anti-depressant medications?
I guess only time will tell...I just want everything to work out for the good and to be happy with everything.
Well, that's it for now. Today is Josh's birthday (he is 26) so I am going to try to not think about it all for a day. Easier said than done!! :) Talk to you later!!
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